Beatnuts, The - A Musical Massacre

Thursday, 30 September 2004 11:42

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	Record Author(s): The Beatnuts
	Record Title: A Musical Massacre
	Record Producer(s): The Beatnuts
	Executive Producer(s): Psycho Les, Juju & Carlos A. Pimentel
	Release Date: August 31, 1999

Here's everything you'll ever need to know about the Beatnuts. They are among hip-hop's most talented merchants of grooves and dealers of ear candy but they are as forgettable a pair of rhymers as you could ever hope (not) to find. During the course of their career, Psycho Les and JuJu have gone from bullshit braggadoccio MCs, flipping verses about their genital endowments, to bullshit gangsta MCs, spitting game about their federal indictments. Either way, no one ever took them seriously, though personally, I found them much more enjoyable as ego-trippers rather than new jack thugs.

Either way though, the Beatnuts rise or fall on the basis of namesake: the beats. Since they started in the early '90s, their work has been some of the best justification that sampling-based production does work. Their last hit, Off The Books, for example, stole its musical hook from a Seasame St. song of all places, but it sure sounded good. So good in fact that both the intro from A Musical Massacre and their new single, Watch Out Now are blatant - though likable - riffs off the same sonic theme, namely a zany flute melody that dances in your head for days to follow.

In fact, if the Beatnuts do anything well it's in transfomring the campy into the funky, turning the most banal samples into instant anthems. Muchachacha flips an instructional dance record into a raise-the-roof chorus while on I Love It they take a short phrase from syrupy pop soulster Cheryl "Pepsi" Riley, add in a popping acoustic guitar loop and have the song swimming in slickness. Meanwhile, the Beatnuts run a different route with Cocotaso and its dark, smoky drum loop, string slides and dramatic blaxploitation symphonics while Story 2000 is a masterpiece of minimalism, all soul claps and a trill sprinkling of keys.

Outstanding examples like these - and others - make A Musical Massacre an improvement over their last LP, Stone Crazy, but you still have to endure the Beatnuts juvenile sexual humor (Spelling Beatnuts) and played-out gangsterisms (Slam Pit). At its most banal, the Beatnuts (both musically and lyrically) sound like they were mimeographed from any number of NY rappers. Wouldn't you rather skip ahead to songs like You're a Clown with its carnival-esque melody and bugged cameo by Biz Markie? It might all be junk food but at least it tastes good.

Intro
Beatnuts Forever	w/ Triple Seis & Marlon "Perro" Manson
Muchachacha	w/ Willie Stubz & Swinger
I Love It
Slam Pit	w/ Cuban Link & Common
Wild, Wild, What!
Look Around	w/ Dead Prez & Cheryl Pepsi Riley
Cocotaso	w/ Tony Touch
Monster For Music
Spelling Beatnuts With Lil' Donny
Puffin's On A cloud
Turn It Out	w/ Greg Nice
Rated R	w/ NOGODUS
Who You're Fuckin' Wit
Story 2000
Watch Out Now
You're A Clown	w/ Biz Markier & Tyler Fernandez
Buddah In The Air
Se Acabo (It's Over)	w/ Magic Juan from Proyecto Uno & Swinger