So what's Black Rob life like? The intro depicts him as a troublesome and mischievous child. On the title track, an apologetic/forgiving Black Rob vividly describes the fatherless kid gone astray he once was. His reasoning: the harsh days in poverty and the apparent apathy of an alcoholic mother pushed him into a pit of crime that cost him round trips to jail. Although a too common scenario, Life Story sounds genuine and heartfelt. Alas! If only half of this 74-min disc was as much.

Uninspired gun-talk that wears thin quickly. We're used to rappers wearing their criminal record like a medal of honor. We wish they'd put as much effort into their rhymes as they do in their ploys to get themselves incarcerated. Black Rob has obviously done more of the latter and very little of the former. A few minutes at the MTV News Archives can confirm that (sadly).

Most of the album is unlistenable, riddled with blunders and faux-pas, plagued with poor cameos and boring skits and replete with abominable beats. It's so horrid at times that it becomes utterly funny. On You Don't Know Me, the hook sung by Joe Hooker, also known as Harve Pierre, the soft-spoken, bald-headed Diddy right-hand man (if you've seen Making The Band 2, then you know who I'm talking about) is so off-key you wonder how it was recorded. A bum would have faired better.

J-Lo butchers Madonna's La Isla Bonita on Spanish Fly; Ma$e mumbles in his sleep on Down The Line Joint; Cee-Lo and The LOX sound totally uninspired on Lookin' At Us and Can I Live; Diddy makes the most unconvincing threats on Muscle Game... Life Story is such an atrocious moment that a mediocre Slick Rick remake, Thug Story, can be considered a highlight. How it became platinum can be summed in one word: Whoa!

Puff Daddy has been blessed with extraordinary vision and business sense. He's able to recognize a cash cow and suck it dry. The Buckwild-produced Whoa! was the saving grace for this Bad Boy release. Undoubtedly one of the bigger hits of 2000, Whoa! fooled one too many (myself included) into buying Life Story. Whoa! was just what Puffy needed to make up for the loss of Ma$e (who's found his way back to the Bad Boy stables) and The LOX. Nonetheless Black Rob is nothing close to exceptional. Black Rob isn't the next Biggie. He isn't "the best thing since ham and grits". He is just a lucky mofo or, if you prefer, a one-hit wonder.